nutspecial said:
Remember how I bitch about labels? The 'mentally ill' one is too blunt to use for other people you don't know imo.
Labels have their places, but often there's a tunnelvision over saying something like 'Mentally Ill.' It's supposed to refer to out and out dysfunction, the presuppositions people refuse to let go of make it a near useless expression, which I'm sure is the point being made there. Way too many people say things like that for the sake of gaining gratification. As evidenced in this thread. Consider onetime Grand Prix Champion James Hunt. (Ever see 'Rush?') All the wrecks that man had, yet he kept racing. One day he lost his nerve, couldn't drive the car anymore midseason. Feared going fast. Was there mental illness involved? Too hard to say. Hunt became a shell of his former dashing self, drinking during broadcast appearances, etc. Yet he went along just fine as far as he was concerned. Made some efforts to come back but couldn't get a car on the track. . . .
Brentis said:
Do you consider what you're saying before you type?
Would it turn out this much better than your self indulgent crap if I didn't? This much better than yours without even considering it would be amazing, now, wouldn't it? Was this your way of saying how awed you were? But if you really meant to ask if I read your mind and consider how this affects your place at the center of the universe, no, I don't bother to consider how the truth might affect your feelings. Oh, darn, I brought up the other point about what I 'Thought' was being made because he's said things about that's not exactly what he meant. . . .
Brentis said:
I didn't brush on mindfulness based CBT meditation. That was my main point.
Then you brushed on your main point. Simply throwing it out there isn't exactly CONSIDERED, now is it? Trying to keep discussions on track rather than letting them devolve into childish henpecking isn't "Argumentative," 'What happened to me' is that I've seen and heard far, far too much of that for one lifetime. Especially on such an important topic.
Meanwhile, back at the original posters' point:
Yeah, buying property is stressful. You're getting in deep, you don't realize how so until you're in that position. I think of all those timeshare owners with that ball and chain that they can't cut off just because they were tricked into signing up. But owning property for real is a good thing, in fact it's one of the great things about America that makes the Independence from England such a good thing. (Historically in Ireland, what separated the "Men" from the "Boys" was that a man was either married or owned property.) So you worry about yourself being able to rise to the occasion. Hmmm, might that be something you normally have issues with, having to rise to occasions?
I'd GUESS from reading things from you on this board you have a desire to WILL matters into the shape you want. It's not easy for you that it doesn't work, so you will even harder. As Vince Lombardi said after his first (And ONLY) losing appearance in a championship game "The harder you work to win, the harder it is when you lose." You need to think of approaches that require less effort with more direct results. Which was the real magic of Lombardi, not so much working hard as working smart. I'm sure the other teams had all the same intense practices, as when he'd win 5 championships in the next 7 years.
Health food does not cure you, it only influences your health. Which makes it better than most of those damn pills the doctor will give you. An old and young chiropractor talking is much like that story of the young bull wanting to run down the hill while the old one says it's better to walk: The young chiropractor insists he can cure cancer, etc., while the old one points out a chiropractor doesn't 'Cure' anything, he/she makes it easier to be active, for the nervous system to operate, etc., all of which has a positive effect on what ails you. So go easy on your expectations of all these food supplements.
So have you lost count of how many times people on this board have told you to 'Calm down' over the years? Getting your land and moving in a definite direction CAN actually have a calming effect, or it can stress you out even worse. So you're at a crossroads, right? The question is NOT whether you choose to buy the land and go forward or hold back, it's whether you choose to do what the Marines call developing an inner locus of control and stop thinking you should bounce off the walls to react to everything or if you decide to just keep doing as you've been doing even though you're admitting it hasn't worked.
Spoiler alert: Smeagel up there will make another of his "Smeagel hates the Dauntless, HATES IT!" posts over this one. But of course we already know he's wrong at most things he says. Your real issue is NOT some great inner defect, which is what most people assume mental illness is. It's how you choose to react to matters. Some 2/3rds of what we could call the 'Certifiably Mentally Ill' are what is called 'Dual Disordered.' They also suffer from substance abuse. The most common term is 'Self Medicating.' It's how they choose to deal with their problems. There is less than 1% of the population whose condition is so severe, yada yada yada, mostly you're not helpless unless you decide you're going to be helpless. Many of those people who do decide resort to what is called 'The Tyranny of the Weak,' demanding to control others to make them take care of the poor helpless one. But that doesn't appeal to your ambitious side, does it?
There are other choices. CONSIDER the one made by none other than Benedict Arnold. Take away one little mistake and he'd be known as the greatest hero of the American Revolution. A revolution he acknowledged the majority of the colonists opposed. Oh, did they teach you in school that the colonists all WANTED to break away from England? Benjamin Franklin didn't get on board until 1775, the change mostly stemming from a single insult he suffered in England which he referred to as the final straw.
Arnold listed his reasons for switching sides as such things as the increasing terrorizing of the loyalists by socalled 'Militias' formed for no other reason that looting. As the military governor of Philadelphia after the British withdrawal he was at the battles, unable to walk after his Saratoga wound, yet gun in hand, at the same time the Pennsylvania council was publicly favoring such action. THIS was not the new republic he'd hoped to build.
Yet Arnold was turning his back on HIS cause. The one he'd lost his fortune on simply paying for everything, as well as losing his health.
The great clue is in one big thing he had in common with George Washington. His own side was proving the greater enemy to both than the British. The petty schemers, playing politics, trying to destroy those ahead of them in the hierarchy. You have to love the way Washington tried to put himself out there confronting his aides when they joined in the scheming and his letters to others that showed he knew of the plotting. (Such clever people, one general had one of Washington's banished aides come to discuss the plotting at the home of his favorite prostitute, who'd already agreed to hand him over to the British that day. The former aide managed to escape.) Washington himself is regarded as suffering from tremendous depression throughout the war.
While Arnold would rage publicly at the behavior he was subjected to, he never did the things Washington did to rock those people back on their heels. While Washington longed to be the success Arnold was in battle, Arnold didn't care to emulate Washington's success with intriguers. And there, in the midst of successfully defending himself from trumped up charges from a corrupt Pennsylvania Council, already having stepped down as the military governor because of all the politics, did Arnold's new (Loyalist) wife approach him with a deal she'd been cooking up with the British for him to defect. . . .
Lashing out over his bruised ego, the many legitimate grievances Arnold had became merely rationalizations. But he didn't hurt the petty people causing so many affronts, (They were publicly happy about the whole affair) by giving in to the madness he only hurt his real friends, such as George Washington. His was a successful businessman in Canada for a time, until his slipping health got in the way. But he'd lost so much of his former self over the West Point affair, always dealing with the nagging need to set things right in the minds of the American public and a certain closing of the deal with the British government. The conduct of the Pennsylvania Council after the war caused the nations' capital to be moved from Philadelphia to Washington D.C. There would have been a greater stigma hanging over them had the public known their full story.
So I guess the big point for you to get is this idea that you're grabbing the gun to go after SOMETHING once and for all. Keep in mind the case of the guy who shot the pedestrian to protect his neighborhood from street racers. If you're going to work yourself up you're going to screw up. Then you're going to be even more uptight dealing with the consequences, aren't you? Don't look for one fell swoop to settle everything. Hey, I'd much rather give people like Smeagal enough rope to hang themselves, which I'm working on.
You know, when I was a kid I actually hated my father calling me Dauntless. A play on my first name, as he did with all the kids. Except the others were called Rainbow, Skinny benny (For Lorraine and Kenneth) etc. What's this word he's using for me? But of course I learned I was named after his best friend who he referred to as indeed, being Dauntless. Now there was one cool character in a crisis. And then there were those Dauntless divebombers when I was learning about the Battle of Midway. When things happen that could upset me, I don't want to be upset. I want to deal with it. Think about that with your stress. Most people tell me they never actually thought about how they WANTED to handle things. Smeagal of course doesn't have to tell me, obviously he just wants to carry on with his own personal tyranny.
So I'll just tell you to get your mind of how things are and on to how you want to make them. Washington was looking forward to going home to Mount Vernon and resuming developing his land holdings. Oh, there were squatters doing that very thing with his land during the war, NOT sympathetic to Independence, NOT willing to go ahead and buy his land cheap when he offered to sell. So he kept his head and wound up with the houses and barns built, the fields tilled, etc., for all the trouble they'd caused. All worked out well in the end, right? No, he didn't want to go become the REAL first president of the U.S. (The other names that came up were presidents of groups, of Congress, etc.)
And let up all the analysis of your physical problems. I have a lifelong bad leg, I ran marathon distance and ran 10k distance in 36 minutes on a bad leg. I didn't do any of that by dwelling on my bad leg, now did I? Stress comes from dwelling on things you can't fix.
So give up dwelling on your stress. You'll forget about it when you point things in the right direction. People keep very hectic schedules without stress because they set things up right so they like what they're doing. Such as the first time Lombardi talked to the Green Bay Packers and he was interrupted as he said "Of course we're all here for the same thing, to win championships, right. . . ?" by the well known clown who shouted out 'Not so fast.' Lombardi is reported as laughing so long and hard he had trouble resuming his speech. Such as the way I like it when Smeagal goes right on making a fool of himself after he's plainly lost. . . .
