The Ebiker Joke thread...

[Lock]

Electrify this! Oddly, I have posted this pic on ES before, of the "Swing bike" from 1835... Unfortunately the ES system reports "does not exist" wattEVer...



So that basket look large enough for a batt, plus passenger and picniic?

So an ebiker pulls up to the door of a "hot date"...

"Hey babe... Wanna swing?"

Hehe...

L

 

[Eskimo]

Not exactly E-bike joke, but was seen when riding E-bike.
This Finnish tradition is called "Beer Floating", roughly translated.
It requires that everybody is drunk. Being sober is against the rules.
People take their rubber boats to the river and drink while they slowly float down the river to the sea.
Police says it"s ok. Wonderful example of northern madness.

 

[Lock]

Oh goody... Must organize a "Great Canadian Ebiker Beer Float" in Ontario for next summer... We'll just tell the local police "But officer, it's a Finnish tradition! We've got a picture to prove it!"...

Hehe...

Skol! (As our Swedish friends might say...)

L

 

[Lock]

OK... Not a joke really, but maybe call this "spreading confusion"...

Seen on a Toronto street sidewalk today:


Maybe replace that sign with the "Ebike Lottery"?

Text would read:

"Ebike Lotto Max"

With an "asterisk"... Fine print notes "EVeryone's a winner!"

Then some humongous figure...With more "fine print"...

*Extremely* conservative estimate

L

 

[Lock]

OK... Not an ebiker joke exactly... but how an old ebiker amuses himself...

On one recent (actually, this afternoon) recurring trip to the hospital (St. Michael's Hospital, in downtown Toronto), I got to "park" the ebike, on the grass (and plug in), right outside their main entrance:


Another closer/clearer shot, perhaps:


Well, the hospital DOES have posters scattered around saying "Our hospital is a safe place for everyone"?

Anyway... It's good to know they don't turn away old guys with disabilities, and provide some outlets to plug in their "mobility devices" (aka ebike/tricycle)! Must go now, and write a note to the Good Doctor. Thank him for letting an old ebiker "hang out", and send him these two "snaps"... Sorta a "souvenir" of my visit. Do you think he will like?

Hehe...

L

 

[Lock]

Seen on the Wall Street Journal, and elsewhere, eg online here:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323608504579022942032641408.html

"How 'Power Poses' Can Help Your Career"

Hey! I want to sell ebikes... So how exactly should an ebiker walk? Not TOO much swaggering, I hope... OK, swaggering OK, but please, no mincing?

Hehe...

Anyway... Had a though recently, about starting a series, a course for folks that want to sell ebikes... But there are soooo many advantages... Are there ANY disadvantages? And if so, what is the "snappy comeback"?

L

 

[HAROX]

^^^...you just parked a 'cure' directly outside the doctors windows...

 

[Lock]

Hehe... Ahoy CO!... So, I hear the sailing might be pretty good in CO, at least maybe in the eastern bits?

So, my "weapon of choice" for getting around in CO... For the western bits at least, might need power-assist for those "bigger waves"... Might need a big comfy seat too, for the ladies/crew, or friends...


L

 

[HAROX]

:lol:

 

[Lock]

OK.. Again, not a joke, but maybe file this under "Funny/odd stuff an ebiker sees"...

Outside "our favourite" coffee shop on the Danforth (an east-west wide road in the eastern side of downtown/mid Toronto), this bench:


Painted sign says "THIS IS A NON-SMOKING AREA. THANK YOU"... with two pics that "bracket" the sign of cigarettes (not even a decent cigar) "crossed out"...

And below that the sign says "PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE IN THIS AREA PLEASE"... Without exactly defining watt they mean by "this area"? Meanwhile, cars drive by back and forth, all "smoking" (exhaust gases)?

Or cars and trucks pull up, idling their (gasoline or diseasal-powered, usually) engines, `cause they're just waiting to pick (insert name here) up... While Toronto passed a bylaw in 1998... over ten years ago, watt says "no idling"... Copy of that law online, here:
http://www.toronto.ca/legdocs/municode/1184_517.pdf

It may be that *some* ebikers are "inconvenienced" by smelling their fumes (aka sucking on their tailpipes)...

L

 

[Lock]

BTW, and OT (worse than usual... hehe), but:

Failure Notice
from MAILER-DAEMON@yahoo.com to you

Sorry, we were unable to deliver your message to the following address.

<forums@endless-sphere.com>:

Anybuddy here have an "ALT" email address, by any chance?

Tks
L

 

[Lock]

Oh oh... CO... Yer "in the news" today...
Here, for example "Thousands driven from homes as floodwaters rise in Colorado":
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/thousands-driven-from-homes-as-floodwaters-rise-in-colorado/article14325313/

I *was* thinking of adding maybe fold down/back skids to the trike re ice/slush, etc... But now I'm thinking fold-down or detachable "akas" that connect to "amas" (outriggers)... Might as well have an ebike that floats AND deals with the ice/slushy bits, eh?

 

[HAROX]

^^ Mud! The great leveler... or, "A really bad joke from Mother nature", or "how MAMA can still kick yer a#$", and don't fergit it.
I heard of one homeowner/investor who lived 1500 feet above the creek. When the storm got worse, he went to the basement to retrieve his hard drives, being an investor, he needed those. Wrong move. Mud with boulders hit the side where he was and knocked the house off its foundation. He was buried under the house, under his desk.
And fortunately he got rescued. He never even thought of flood insurance, being 1500 feet above the creek. I can imagine him, 1500 feet up there, in the basement filling with water, up to his chin... just wondering (wtf??).
Like I said, it's a really BAD joke.
harox

 

[HAROX]

Returning to the Ebiker Joke thread (because the Big Thompson flood isn't really funny today, or in 1976)

Is it really more environmentally friendly to get run over by an EV? :lol: that's funny Lock

 

[Lock]

OK... Another ebiker joke... Works equally well whether the ebike rider is a guy or a grrrl...

As they go by (maybe stop for a sign or signal or something), stare intently at their ebike, while ignoring the ebike rider... Act like you have nEVer seen an ebike before... Ask silly questions like "Is that thing motorized? But there is no exhaust pipe!" Remember, admire the ebike while ignoring the lovely dress/jacket/hairdo etc the other person is wearing...This joke works in reverse order too... When maybe someone asks a silly question about your ebike, just say "Well, it involved complicated stuff like physics and chemistry and math..." ("ugly" subjects most school students today are careful to avoid).

L

 

[Lock]

OK... It's ebiker joke time again! Seen just now in my town, a driver training (education) vehicle (automobile):


Slightly ebiker modified:

Todays Driver! (Tomorrows loser!)

Hey, ebikers like a bit of a chuckle, right?

L

 

[Lock]

Well, well... The "green lady" just drove by! These folks:
http://www.mytidylady.com/

Guess the boss or somebody drives a lovely white one of these:


Hey! They spelt Sorrento (two "rr"s) wrong! (Looks like a pretty little town in southern Italy). The Kia "Sorento" (car) offers the owner their choice of "two dynamic Gasoline Direct Injection (GDI) engine choices – a 2.4-litre four-cylinder engine rated at 191 horsepower, and an available 3.3-litre V6 engine rated at 290 horsepower that provides exceptional power. Both engines are mated to a 6-speed Sportmatic automatic transmission for smooth, fuel efficient performance."...

Sure that outfit might promote themselves as "a Green Certified Cleaning Company", but for their transportation about town (one driver, no passengers or gear that I could see), some might think they smell kinda stinky and dirty...

L

 

[Lock]

Oh oh... It's time for a nasty ebiker joke...

Currently in town, on Nathan Philips Square, right outside Toronto's City Hall, the art of Ai Weiwei... by one account "one of China's foremost contemporary artists". There are plenty of pics online about his art exhibit, but the sign I saw today said this:


Nasty ebiker comes along one night and uses a black "magic marker" to... ummm... alter the sign slightly... inserting the word "Electric" in the middle immediately above the bit about Forever Bicycles (this in a little backward town busy passing bylaws to ban and restrict the electric bicycle, while at the same time its citizens whine about how bad the "rush hour" has gotten of late... Well, it *used* to be an hour, now it's more like all day long, some days...

L

 

[LockH]

Another nasty ebiker joke... Sign posted in the mans toilet cubicle of a spot popular for cyclists:
"Please flush twice (it's a looong way to Lake Ontario)!"

Background... In my little burg (and many other cities and towns across this provincial backwater aka Ontario), the City Council have been passing city bylaws to ban and restrict the electric bicycle. In my town at least the city water co "treats" our "effluent" then pipes it into the lake at our feet (Hello Rochester, NY, etc!). Guests (and my daughters, when they were little) were amazed and a bit disturbed to see one rather large brown "bubble" just offshore Toronto (there are four effluent outlets/pipes AFAIK for this City) as we sailed by...

I mean, I KNOW we all gotta do you-know-watt, but as "exercise" for our transportation, to get from A to B? I mean, pedaling when it is cold is good some times just for warmth, but otherwise there's got to be better ways to exercise? Ebikers at least, KNOW there are now *OPTIONS* to get exercise, not only for our transportation...

L

 

[LockH]

Seen on a walk in my "hood" today:


Sign on the sidewalk (obviously)... Massage "parlour" musta been "on the left", suspected "ebike" addict parked on the right...

L

 

[LockH]

Poster seen in a local establishment...:


These vehicles are more commonly termed a "trolley"... Sneaky ebiker uses a magic marker to add the outline of an ebike, and the caption "A modern "streetcar" for this new century (no more waiting, runs 24hrs a day, seven days a week, and no more "last mile"").

Hehe...
L

 

[LockH]

In "Canada's National Newspaper", in the front section, under the heading "Neuroscience", the heading "Research shows electric bicycles fire up brainpower" (possibly slightly modified"...)
Hehe...
L

(Original version

 

[LockH]

Oh boy! It's "ebiker" joke time again!

Q: Watt does a young Ebikers kiddo say when they "pass wind"?
A: Vroom Vroom! Now I can be like a real car driver!

Corollary joke (sort of)

Q: Watt is an ebikers favourite part of the day?
A: Early morning... Before car/truck drivers start "passing wind"...

Hehe...
L

 

[LockH]

Note to self: Must remember to refrain from asking pretty ladies "Would you like a pinch?" (Or get faster at ducking.)

Background: Oddly, one of the things my daughters saved last year was my small tin of nasal snuff. "Nasal snuff"? A pocket-sized tin from these folks:
http://www.mcchrystals.co.uk/

As they point out in their pages, in part:

Until the 1900s, the volume of snuff produced far exceeded that of tobacco for smoking or chewing. Everyone took it - from poet Alexander Pope to naturalist Charles Darwin, actress Sarah Siddons to the Duke of Wellington. Lord Nelson took large quantities to sea with him, while Napoleon sniffed up over seven pounds a month. Physicians made great claims for it, prescribing snuff for headaches, insomnia, toothache, coughs and colds and recommending it as a measure against contagion.

The restaurant I am sitting in at the moment having lunch, has inside and out on their nice back patio (deck), lots of "politically correct" NO SMOKING signs EVerywhere... Oddly, they don't seem to mind my having a pinch myself? Doubly strange (for an ebiker), cars, trucks etc drive by constantly (on Queen Street, botton of Kingston Road - used to be the "main drag"/path to Kingston, Ontario - and circle around the building. The building is so old, it is a "stand-alone", with a "car wash" sorta "attached" on the adjoining property, entrance to the car wash at the back, off Kingston Rd.) And those vehicles all smoke (burn gasoline or diseasal)?

One day, maybe folks will inject themselves with gasoline... But maybe it is easier taken up the nose? Dunno... not interested in trying that myself... yet car/truck drivers don't seem to mind others taking their burnt gasoline up our noses...
L

 

[LockH]

Well, well... Back from lunch, and watt do I see in "my" back yard (paved over as "parking spaces"... like "parking" bumper-to-bumper to get anywhere isn't good enough), but this (faces should be obscured to protect the guilty (or "innocent"... as usual, I guess I am getting that wrong...):


The truck was equipped with silver "splash guards" (wouldn't want to "dirty up" the nice paint job, running over some nuisance pedestrian or cyclist). I have seen *many* "dead" engines, stripped of any useful bits and at the end of a length of chain (and rope) to be used as boat anchors. Really not sure watt the fellow/truck owner was upset about when I mentioned that fact...)

L

PS... Can an electric bicycle motor be used to anchor a boat, etc? I would guess they are too small... And BTW... that back parking lot is paved over with "tarmac". Per Wikipedia, here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarmac

In part:

In 625 BCE, Babylon was the first city to have its streets paved with tar. More than 2000 years later, John Loudon McAdam invented a road construction method called macadamisation.

McAdam? Just as I suspected... another bloody Scot. Hehe... For whom we owe sooo much. Like for instance, clubbing small, furry animals up hill and down dael... Or wattEVer they club with golf clubs these daze... Anyone care for a wee dram? Anyway... In the foreground, another horseless carriage parked... Might be an antique lover in the area.