LockH
1 PW
Announcing the new Ebiker Weight Loss Program. (Caution. May involve some pedaling.)
The Ebiker Joke thread...
- Thread starter Lock
- Start date
LockH
1 PW
Sad news in a local "rag" (newspaper, so called)... "Man apparently ate his dog to stay alive in Quebec woods"... seen online here:
http://www.torontosun.com/2013/11/01/man-apparently-ate-his-dog-to-stay-alive-in-quebec-woods
Oddly, the article made no mention of the fact the fellow rode an electric bicycle. I guess a dog really IS an ebikers best friend!
L
PS... I love our four/etc legged friends. I was mostly sorta saddened to read that the poor dog hadn't eater his "master" to survive...
http://www.torontosun.com/2013/11/01/man-apparently-ate-his-dog-to-stay-alive-in-quebec-woods
Oddly, the article made no mention of the fact the fellow rode an electric bicycle. I guess a dog really IS an ebikers best friend!
L
PS... I love our four/etc legged friends. I was mostly sorta saddened to read that the poor dog hadn't eater his "master" to survive...
LockH
1 PW
In the news today, "Fitness Shirt, Bike, Phone Guide Personal Training", seen here:
http://www.laboratoryequipment.com/news/2013/11/fitness-shirt-bike-phone-guide-personal-training
Yes ebikers! Now you too, like a car driver, might be distracted by your phone!
http://www.laboratoryequipment.com/news/2013/11/fitness-shirt-bike-phone-guide-personal-training
Yes ebikers! Now you too, like a car driver, might be distracted by your phone!
The fingers
10 TW
LockH said:
Just don't answer it with your throttle hand. :wink:
LockH
1 PW
Yah, no throttle (in your hand) eh?
ANNOUNCING! The new ES "index" (I guess maybe new on the "Good Ship ES"...) The "UNnatural gas index"! (Or UG, for short.) Currently, on a Google (TM) search for the phrase ("unnatural gas" with "-natural" added to the search)
Ya heard it here (on ES) first folks!
Hehe...
Hey! I haven't checked on ES yet, but is there maybe a "gasoline index" (maybe in steep decline)? Must remember to sell/offload that (insert somebuddys fav "fossil fuel" extracter - or "expectorator" here) stock...
Hehe
L
ANNOUNCING! The new ES "index" (I guess maybe new on the "Good Ship ES"...) The "UNnatural gas index"! (Or UG, for short.) Currently, on a Google (TM) search for the phrase ("unnatural gas" with "-natural" added to the search)
Ya heard it here (on ES) first folks!
Hehe...
Hey! I haven't checked on ES yet, but is there maybe a "gasoline index" (maybe in steep decline)? Must remember to sell/offload that (insert somebuddys fav "fossil fuel" extracter - or "expectorator" here) stock...
Hehe
L
LockH
1 PW
Meanwhile, (in unrelated maybe) "Ebiker News" today, the story "Encana cuts deep in massive shakeup", seen online here:
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/industry-news/energy-and-resources/encana-to-slash-jobs-spin-off-properties-in-sweeping-overhaul/article15261101/
OMG! Calgary (Alberta) has had another "massive earthquake"???
... but per the same article, EnCana saves the day! (In print, the article is subtitled "To focus on oil and liquid-rich gas projects") Liquid rich? Oh goody, I WAS feeling a little thirsty.
L
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/industry-news/energy-and-resources/encana-to-slash-jobs-spin-off-properties-in-sweeping-overhaul/article15261101/
OMG! Calgary (Alberta) has had another "massive earthquake"???
... but per the same article, EnCana saves the day! (In print, the article is subtitled "To focus on oil and liquid-rich gas projects") Liquid rich? Oh goody, I WAS feeling a little thirsty.
L
LockH
1 PW
EVerybuddy loves antiques don't they? Seen on a recent trip:
(Huge hint: The gasoline burner is the vehicle on the right...)
L
(Huge hint: The gasoline burner is the vehicle on the right...)
L
LockH
1 PW
Pic/poster displayed by a local "Lung Association":
Sneaky ebiker uses his black "magic marker" to cross out the word "in"...
Hehe...
L
Sneaky ebiker uses his black "magic marker" to cross out the word "in"...
Hehe...
L
LockH
1 PW
Nice try, Mercedes, butt I am reliably informed it is maybe better to be hit/run over by the vehicle on the left.
L
LockH
1 PW
Well, I'm back. I was sorta kidding in another "thread" here on ES (see "How to Solar Charge an Electric Bicycle") about going to the forum. Really I only had to move to a better restaurant (with Wifi internet access, of course). And I heard via the grapevine, the action at the forum ain't so great today. The score is only "Lions II, Christians O". Go lions!
Anyway... Just to stay "on topic" (sorta), NOTE TO SELF: It may be rude to stand on the sidewalk exhausting cigarette smoke at passing cars. In a "politically correct" world, howEVer, no problem blowing yer smoke (burnt gasoline) out a tailpipe, etc at passing peds, cyclists etc as you drive by (or hit/run them down, etc). Oooops! Sorry! It was an "accident" (them driving in a mostly empty heavy 4 etc-wheeled "carriage", designed to go waaaay faster than most urban speed limits).
Seen here:
http://www.crypton.co.za/Tto%20know/Emissions/exhaust%20emissions.html
In part:
Thank goodness nobuddy EVer moves on to "bad combustion", do they... Well, I hope at least that I (or my daughters, friends, neighbours, etc) get run down by some car or truck burning an "ideal mixture".
L
Anyway... Just to stay "on topic" (sorta), NOTE TO SELF: It may be rude to stand on the sidewalk exhausting cigarette smoke at passing cars. In a "politically correct" world, howEVer, no problem blowing yer smoke (burnt gasoline) out a tailpipe, etc at passing peds, cyclists etc as you drive by (or hit/run them down, etc). Oooops! Sorry! It was an "accident" (them driving in a mostly empty heavy 4 etc-wheeled "carriage", designed to go waaaay faster than most urban speed limits).
Seen here:
http://www.crypton.co.za/Tto%20know/Emissions/exhaust%20emissions.html
In part:
Thank goodness nobuddy EVer moves on to "bad combustion", do they... Well, I hope at least that I (or my daughters, friends, neighbours, etc) get run down by some car or truck burning an "ideal mixture".
L
LockH
1 PW
Oh yummie... A local "Irish pub" (seen here
http://www.murphyslaw.ca/
...seems to have a pretty nice rooftop patio... seen here:
http://www.blogto.com/toronto/the_best_rooftop_patios_in_toronto/
In part:
And currently, on a flyer they note "Murphy's Loves Teams" (Get 10% back for an "end of season" party). Well I used to think our Canadian Navy/military has a pretty big "team" (my guess they are referring to "sports" teams), but "Team Ebiker" is now perhaps over 10,000 "strong" in the "GTA" (Greater Toronto Area). Hmmm... How to squeeze 10,000+ ebikers onto an only 50 seat capacity patio. Might have to rent the whole place for a din-dins. Gotta work on that. Team Ebike will have to shut down for a millisecond, to "end a season".
Go Team go!
Hehe...
L
http://www.murphyslaw.ca/
...seems to have a pretty nice rooftop patio... seen here:
http://www.blogto.com/toronto/the_best_rooftop_patios_in_toronto/
In part:
And currently, on a flyer they note "Murphy's Loves Teams" (Get 10% back for an "end of season" party). Well I used to think our Canadian Navy/military has a pretty big "team" (my guess they are referring to "sports" teams), but "Team Ebiker" is now perhaps over 10,000 "strong" in the "GTA" (Greater Toronto Area). Hmmm... How to squeeze 10,000+ ebikers onto an only 50 seat capacity patio. Might have to rent the whole place for a din-dins. Gotta work on that. Team Ebike will have to shut down for a millisecond, to "end a season".
Go Team go!
Hehe...
L
LockH
1 PW
Oh goody, a chance to rho my boat! Lessee... per Wikipedia, in part:
Oh oh... I'm getting a little light headed... So, how much compression? Should I ask? Tell ya watt... We'll try a little "experiment". You tell me how much "C", and I'll go work that out. Meanwhile, you maybe go stick yer nose up a car "dirt pipe", and take the time for say 10 minutes of idling (car engine, I mean). Also, please measure the drop in the level of gasoline in the gas tank. Knowing the size/shape of the tank, plus picking stuff out of your nose otta give us some useful "data" (eg I used to go to a gun range with my friend Mister Al, and spend some time firing off pistols ("357" and "45"). We were picking some lead out of our noses still, the next day...
Thanks!
L
PS... Sorry about lapsing into a bit of Greek.
(Or our American cousins might say about 2.7 pounds per about 35.3 etc cubic feet... at about 59 degrees Fahrenheit... errrm... at sea level.)
Oh oh... I'm getting a little light headed... So, how much compression? Should I ask? Tell ya watt... We'll try a little "experiment". You tell me how much "C", and I'll go work that out. Meanwhile, you maybe go stick yer nose up a car "dirt pipe", and take the time for say 10 minutes of idling (car engine, I mean). Also, please measure the drop in the level of gasoline in the gas tank. Knowing the size/shape of the tank, plus picking stuff out of your nose otta give us some useful "data" (eg I used to go to a gun range with my friend Mister Al, and spend some time firing off pistols ("357" and "45"). We were picking some lead out of our noses still, the next day...
Thanks!
L
PS... Sorry about lapsing into a bit of Greek.
LockH
1 PW
So... Is there an International Ebiker Day yet ("Ed" for short)? Yah, I know... EVery day is Ed... But just one day, EVery year?
For example, there is an ugly rumour going around that once a year, dentists (and maybe health care so-called "professionals", "weight loss clinic" owners and workers, etc too) gather in small clearings in the "bush" (forest) across North America to dance around a bonfire, to celebrate their annual "day" (where according on one report - from the US National Confectioners Association, a Washington-based trade group - in the USA at least, they estimate consumers will spend $2.4 billion on candy for Halloween, the top holiday for candy sales, and they figure overall candy sales for 2012 to reach $32 billion, up from $24.7 billion in 2007.)
In England, at least, their "halloween" usually lasts for over one week, when they remember some guy named (funnily enough "Guy" something or other). And THEY like to light big bonfires too! (And light up fireworks etc). THAT Guy is still "celebrated" `cause he though he could blow up their "parliament" (stolen from the French language I suspect).
So... has any sneaky ebiker tried to blow up a car manufacturers factory maybe? Been tortured for messing with some peoples jobs (and see above re candy) maybe?
Just curious...
L
For example, there is an ugly rumour going around that once a year, dentists (and maybe health care so-called "professionals", "weight loss clinic" owners and workers, etc too) gather in small clearings in the "bush" (forest) across North America to dance around a bonfire, to celebrate their annual "day" (where according on one report - from the US National Confectioners Association, a Washington-based trade group - in the USA at least, they estimate consumers will spend $2.4 billion on candy for Halloween, the top holiday for candy sales, and they figure overall candy sales for 2012 to reach $32 billion, up from $24.7 billion in 2007.)
In England, at least, their "halloween" usually lasts for over one week, when they remember some guy named (funnily enough "Guy" something or other). And THEY like to light big bonfires too! (And light up fireworks etc). THAT Guy is still "celebrated" `cause he though he could blow up their "parliament" (stolen from the French language I suspect).
So... has any sneaky ebiker tried to blow up a car manufacturers factory maybe? Been tortured for messing with some peoples jobs (and see above re candy) maybe?
Just curious...
L
LockH
1 PW
Watts the one thing most ebikers almost never use/need?
Oil... as a lubricant. Well, I suppose some ebiking ladies do expect to use "lub", but not oil-based AFAIK
Oil... as a lubricant. Well, I suppose some ebiking ladies do expect to use "lub", but not oil-based AFAIK
LockH
1 PW
OK... Here's an ebiker joke EVerybuddy will just *HATE* (maybe otta file this in the ES thread "Master of the Electric Bicycle Promotion etc".)
Pick a town, any town, (in North America, maybe the bigger the better, like some city or other...).
Then rent or borrow one pickup truck (probably shouldn't tell the owner watt you want to rent/borrow it for).
Then drive the truck to some junk yard or other, pay "top dollar" for each "scrap" vehicle, and place on the back "bed" a few "writeoff", "ruined" and rusty cars.
Next, drive to any abandoned road-side property, and (maybe with some friends to help), don't "dump" but "artfully place" each car around the property.
There are TONS of images about "Saint George and the Dragon". It EVen has a page on Wikipedia, here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_George_and_the_Dragon
So then add a "statue" on top of each car, with lance, sword, etc... Details to this "installation" might incluse a "donations box" for charity (those dead and injured by the 20th-century horseless carriage, or lost a loved one to same, the millions of "critters" that have lost their lived on NA highways, etc etc...).
Maybe instead of St.Geo, substitute a few of our "leading lights" on ES in effigy... the face at least. If they have any reservations, offer to use the old "salami saugage trick" for their statue.
Anyway... When ready, open for business! The new Ebiker Memorial Site and Attraction! See Saint George slaying the beast!
Place a small ad in some local paper with wide circulation. Occasionally "freshen up"/move around the displays.
I would pick the town of Detroit (I understand there are lots of vacant properties currently "going begging", complete with "haunted"/empty run-down house.) I mean, I *would* pick "Motor City", but it might quickly become too dangerous just trying to cross the street.
Then "strike while the iron is hot"... Announce you are opening a "chain" of similar "attractions" in cities across NA. One or more car/truck manufacturers will offer some huge $$$ just to "buy you out". Retire. I recommend the island of Little Exuma in the Bahamas (haven't seen it in years though.)
Please let other ebikers come and visit, when on "vacation"? You know, if you survive this little "experiment", I mean.
Tks
L
Pick a town, any town, (in North America, maybe the bigger the better, like some city or other...).
Then rent or borrow one pickup truck (probably shouldn't tell the owner watt you want to rent/borrow it for).
Then drive the truck to some junk yard or other, pay "top dollar" for each "scrap" vehicle, and place on the back "bed" a few "writeoff", "ruined" and rusty cars.
Next, drive to any abandoned road-side property, and (maybe with some friends to help), don't "dump" but "artfully place" each car around the property.
There are TONS of images about "Saint George and the Dragon". It EVen has a page on Wikipedia, here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_George_and_the_Dragon
So then add a "statue" on top of each car, with lance, sword, etc... Details to this "installation" might incluse a "donations box" for charity (those dead and injured by the 20th-century horseless carriage, or lost a loved one to same, the millions of "critters" that have lost their lived on NA highways, etc etc...).
Maybe instead of St.Geo, substitute a few of our "leading lights" on ES in effigy... the face at least. If they have any reservations, offer to use the old "salami saugage trick" for their statue.
Anyway... When ready, open for business! The new Ebiker Memorial Site and Attraction! See Saint George slaying the beast!
Place a small ad in some local paper with wide circulation. Occasionally "freshen up"/move around the displays.
I would pick the town of Detroit (I understand there are lots of vacant properties currently "going begging", complete with "haunted"/empty run-down house.) I mean, I *would* pick "Motor City", but it might quickly become too dangerous just trying to cross the street.
Then "strike while the iron is hot"... Announce you are opening a "chain" of similar "attractions" in cities across NA. One or more car/truck manufacturers will offer some huge $$$ just to "buy you out". Retire. I recommend the island of Little Exuma in the Bahamas (haven't seen it in years though.)
Please let other ebikers come and visit, when on "vacation"? You know, if you survive this little "experiment", I mean.
Tks
L
LockH
1 PW
Received just now in my mailbox (email in basket, box, wattEVer, via "Twitter" - watt my father might have said maybe is for "twits"):
Oooops. So sorry! (Maybe must be the Japanese coming out in me...) The "news" was actually about some substance termed "crack cocaine".
L
(Beware "second hand smoke", I guess.)
Oooops. So sorry! (Maybe must be the Japanese coming out in me...) The "news" was actually about some substance termed "crack cocaine".
L
LockH
1 PW
Sign on an ebikers vehicle:
Works equally well for men and wymen... of mostly all ages (may be wishful thinking for some).
Works equally well for men and wymen... of mostly all ages (may be wishful thinking for some).
LockH
1 PW
"Work": Watt some road repair crews might do between breaks.
LockH
1 PW
Well, well... The things an ebiker (in the quiet little backwater - aka the Province of Ontario) sees while out for a walk... but this:
Seen here, a sorta recent story online from our "Canadian Broadcasting Corporation" (must be targeted to wymen, or something), here:
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/beer-store-profits-700m-yearly-from-near-monopoly-study-finds-1.1382689
The title "Beer Store profits $700M yearly from near monopoly, study finds".
... and includes stuff like:
... and:
Watts left unsaid maybe is how "addicted" the government might be to the sorta "huge" tax dollars on beer sales it collects. The brewing co at least seems to offer TONS of free parking, while the government tut-tuts (pass laws about) folks that drive around w/ "too much" alcohol in their systems.
Of course, the government NEEDS all those tax dollars, to help pay for the injured, at least SOME from "traffic accidents". (According to the Ont. gov, for 2010, the last year they counted near 9 folks "seriously injured", or killed, EVery DAY in Ontario - not mentioning how many family or co-workers are "affected".)
Sorry if this ain't very "funny"? It just seems "funny" (weird) to an old ebiker?
L
Seen here, a sorta recent story online from our "Canadian Broadcasting Corporation" (must be targeted to wymen, or something), here:
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/beer-store-profits-700m-yearly-from-near-monopoly-study-finds-1.1382689
The title "Beer Store profits $700M yearly from near monopoly, study finds".
... and includes stuff like:
... and:
Watts left unsaid maybe is how "addicted" the government might be to the sorta "huge" tax dollars on beer sales it collects. The brewing co at least seems to offer TONS of free parking, while the government tut-tuts (pass laws about) folks that drive around w/ "too much" alcohol in their systems.
Of course, the government NEEDS all those tax dollars, to help pay for the injured, at least SOME from "traffic accidents". (According to the Ont. gov, for 2010, the last year they counted near 9 folks "seriously injured", or killed, EVery DAY in Ontario - not mentioning how many family or co-workers are "affected".)
Sorry if this ain't very "funny"? It just seems "funny" (weird) to an old ebiker?
L
LockH
1 PW
Just visited a toy store next door (to the resaurant, a "home" for the coffee/internet addicted), to enquire whether they might have a toy electric bicycle (for my niece). I see we are coming up again to the holiday where retailer/toy store owners give thanks to the God (or Gawdess) of Christmas (and Christians pile lots of presents - many wrapped- under a tree with a star on top, or a model angel with the tree stuffed up his/her you-know-watt.)
Anyway, was hoping the soon-to-be maybe ebiker parents might exclaim "Her first electric bicycle!" (That toy store seemed to have plenty of cars and trucks?) Ah well... Maybe next year.
L
PS "Daddy! Stop trying to ride my new ebike! You are too big!"
Anyway, was hoping the soon-to-be maybe ebiker parents might exclaim "Her first electric bicycle!" (That toy store seemed to have plenty of cars and trucks?) Ah well... Maybe next year.
L
PS "Daddy! Stop trying to ride my new ebike! You are too big!"
LockH
1 PW
Sneaky ebiker, small ad placed in some area newspapers, bulletin boards, etc:
LockH
1 PW
Old ebiker... getting out of a hospital bed for the first time, to be helped into a wheelchair:
(struggling to his feet)
L
(struggling to his feet)
L
LockH
1 PW
Old ebiker, new to the neighbourhood of "Little India" (in Toronto), seeing lots of pics and images of "wheels" (the Indian "wheel of life"):
Hehe
L
Hehe
L
LockH
1 PW
Oh oh... Naughty ebiker is up to his old tricks again. Per the local "parking authority" web site, here:
http://parking.greenp.com/
In part:
...and:
"New and innovative ideas"???
Oh goody... hehe...
The "TPA" (and in other cities and towns) has been busy installing these:
OH! Solar-powered? So, it sounds like the City would be happy if some ebikers "jacked" their solar system for a bit of a sip (recharge, for our transportation, of course.). Anybuddy here feeling a bit thirsty?
The streetside solar-powered meters are manufactured or sold by these folks:
http://www.preciseparklink.com/
Oddly, the company doesn't seem to offer instructions on how to "extract" electricity "for parking" on their web site.
Hehe...
L
http://parking.greenp.com/
In part:
...and:
"New and innovative ideas"???
Oh goody... hehe...
The "TPA" (and in other cities and towns) has been busy installing these:
OH! Solar-powered? So, it sounds like the City would be happy if some ebikers "jacked" their solar system for a bit of a sip (recharge, for our transportation, of course.). Anybuddy here feeling a bit thirsty?
The streetside solar-powered meters are manufactured or sold by these folks:
http://www.preciseparklink.com/
Oddly, the company doesn't seem to offer instructions on how to "extract" electricity "for parking" on their web site.
Hehe...
L
LockH
1 PW
(With apology to Karl Marx and his book "Das Capital". The direct quote refers to the drug "opium" - not " ebike". Although some folks in North America seem to view the electric bicycle with the same dread. Probably many connected with the manufacture and repair and maintenance industry for the horseless carriage.)
L
