The Ebiker Joke thread...

[LockH]

"Takeout coffee shop": Where *some* largish folks might pick up coffee in a paper cup, then attempt to struggle back into their horseless carriage and drive off.

 

[LockH]

Announcing the new Ebike Party! Sorry, only those with half a brain may apply... (Sadly the Greeks - that sorta invented "democracy"(?) - never imagined that the "less-than-bright" (watt some others might rudely call them) might have a vote...) Please note: Helps if you can prove ownership already of an electric bicycle.

 

[LockH]

My, my... the things an eiker sees on a walkabout (to Toronto Island, to dinner with friends):


Sadly, an old ebiker thought the sign read "OK for ebikers to pee here"...

Sorry about that...

L

PS... Should have stayed in those English language classes.

 

[LockH]

Bit of bad news this morning... Our "national paper" with a headline story "Severe wind and rain storm leave thousands without power in Ontario"... With stuff like:

The weather system roared into Ontario after punishing the American Midwest with tornadoes and thunderstorms that left at least six dead in Illinois.

In the central Illinois town of Washington, a twister obliterated entire neighbourhoods, flipping vehicles, uprooting trees, and ripping down power lines.

The storms also caused damage in Kentucky, Wisconsin, Indiana, Ohio, and Michigan.

Messy stuff for many, sounds like. Closer to home, in the same article:

In the Greater Toronto Area some 70,000 customers were left in the dark, and another 24,000 in London, but crews were working through the night to quickly get the electric bicycle chargers back on.

Yay crews!

L

 

[LockH]

From Punch magazine, from January, 1897


Updated suggestion for a new coin, replace that poor dragon with hapless pedestrian, cyclist, etc...

L

 

[LockH]

Again from that January, 1897 Punch magazine:


Oddly, some ebikers *still* to this day live in dread of hearing the sound of those darned motor-cars...

L
PS...

 

[LockH]

Q: Watt is something that goes crack or crunch, when hit?
A: A pedestrian (or cyclist, etc)!

(With apologies to sailors, some have maybe heard the same joke in reference to a harbour pier, dock, etc.)

 

[LockH]

Well, well... lookee watt an ebiker sees in the course of his travels, parked right outside a local ebike seller (shouldn't mention any names... but on the north side of Danforth Ave., in Toronto). One of these:


All aboard the hybrid wagon! Guaranteed to blow less smoke (exhaust burnt gasoline) into the air that we (?) breath! So an ebiker might ask "Where does it plug in (to recharge the battery)?"

Most Toyota Prii (until maybe their 2014 model year) don't have a plug-in at all! (The motor and batt pack are charged/recharged by the *gasoline* engine.) Hello???

...and of course, always give the customer watt they want (? the compact car (1997–2003) grew to a mid-size car (2003–present)). And for the 2014 model year, they have advertised a plug-in version (yay! ... with a 4.4-kWh lithium-ion battery... Yay!... and that allows an all-electric range of 23 km (14.3 mi)... Ooops... Calculated I guess to make any self-respecting ebiker to puke in it's exhaust pipe.)

Ah well... The Prius driver did finally show up/drive off, after parking (free, it looked like) for 1/2 hour or so. Musta been an emergency, I guess. Off he/the car went (car otherwise empty), one assumed in search of another pedestrian/ebiker etc to run into/over, but in an "environmentally-friendly" manner...

L

 

[LockH]

Seen on a current "report" on the local (watt some might rudely call a "rag") newspaper, this picture:


I guess they mean if EVerybuddy "woke up" to the electric bicycle... And the heading for the article, "GO Transit makes train Quiet Zones permanent"... gee... and here's me thinking EVery ebike is a "quiet zone"...

Silly me.

L

 

[LockH]

Oh oh.. The top front page of Torontos local (watt some others might rudely refer to as a "rag") newspaper, the Toronto Star, an article with this heading in large black type "The locks have been changed" (re our Mayors current situation at "city hall").

Oh goody! I love change! Oh, waitasec... Hehe...

L

 

[LockH]

Sign seen on diff taxis, pubic transit vehicles in Toronto currently:


Yay! Electric bicycles help to drop taxi prices to zero! Ohhh... waitasec... That's not good. Oh well.
L

 

[LockH]

Car manufacturers to inform towns of dangerous goods!

(Actually, the headline in one local "rag" says "railways" etc.), seen online here, on page six:
http://eedition.toronto.24hrs.ca/epaper/viewer.aspx

 

[LockH]

Oh goody... I almost overlooked "Movember", where ebikers wear a moustache "to raise awareness of men's health issues"... North Americans (men, women and children too) maybe "suffer" from various diseases, trapped in their quaint (some might say) gasoline-powered 20th-century horseless carriage.

In unrelated (?) news, various newspapers, etc the story "Children’s fitness levels declining worldwide". Millions will be quickly turning the page, to the sports section.

L

 

[LockH]

Our (Canadian) Senator Mike Duffy may wish he were pedaling an electric bicycle...


He's in a bit of "hot water" currently, it seems... Possibly something to do with over-eating, at taxpayers expense.


...Wish I could eat like our dear senator. Had to ask just now (at the "home for the coffee addicted") which cookie has the most calories in it. Odd request for the counter staff, but lying on your back for a few months in hospital sorta makes your pants "fit funny".
L

 

[LockH]

In todaze newspaper (can't mention any names but lets say "Canadas National newspaper"), under "Pubic Transit", a story with the heading "Fare increase still leaves budget short", and with a pic with the caption "Ryerson University students dress up as sardines to raise awareness for better transit"... Their t-shirts with a stamp on their back, like this:

(Me holding hand up in back of class) "I know! I know!" Incidently, when was the last time an ebiker was packed in "like sardines", anybuddy here know?
L

 

[LockH]

Dateline Cairo -

A suicide bomber rammed his explosive-laden ebike into a convoy of buses... etc

 

[LockH]

Equality for all

In the news today (various papers and online), the Major of the great city of Chicago, holding up the secret ebiker hand sign, looks like:

... and the story about him signing the "Religious Freedumb and Marriage Fairness Act". Oh goody, so in the state of Illinois (and others), nobuddy will look at me "funny" when I marry my ebike, EVen if the dear is a boy (which I honestly have not checked).

 

[LockH]

Florida Rep. Henry "Trey" Radel pleaded guilty on Wednesday morning to misdemeanor ebike possession and was sentenced to one year of probation.

 

[LockH]

Various hand signals and expressions given by some car drivers out their sideview car windows to pedestrians to denote "SORRY!" because they didn't see the flashing lights or the pedestrian already in the crosswalk, hand outstretched to make (only some, I guess) car drivers aware they are attempting to cross the road (and live to tell about it).

 

[LockH]

ANNOUNCING! The new ES "index" (I guess maybe new on the "Good Ship ES"...) The "UNnatural gas index"! (Or UG, for short.) Currently, on a Google (TM) search for the phrase ("unnatural gas" with "-natural" added to the search)

About 577,000 results (0.27 seconds)

Today

About 9,800,000 results (0.61 seconds)

[/quote]

Hmmm... So, is there an "investor club" on ES?

Just curious...
L

(PS... Would invest my $$$ in a "bucket" of electric bike manufactures stock... car manufacturers, not so much...)

 

[LockH]

How an old ebiker (plus friends maybe) get lots of chuckles... Logging on to this web site:
http://www.gasbuddy.com/

:lol:
L

 

[LockH]

Announcing! The first EVer, ES international competition! To guess correctly the town/city in North America with the HIGHEST gas prices on December 31. Contest open to anybuddy on ES! Placez vos paris, mesdames et messieurs (as the French say)!

Note to self: Must crack an off track betting site... off road, of course. Net proceeds to support some worthy cause (eg ES). Award for first prize, maybe a shiny new ebike. (Must find some ebike seller to offer the first, first prize.)
L

 

[LockH]

Sign posted on various pubic vehicles in Toronto:


Actually, some ebikers think there are 33 "reasons to invest in transportation", and laugh at most of the other 32.

 

[LockH]

Anti-tobacco ad currently on some packs of Canadian ciggies:


Nasty ebiker ad rewrite:

Car Exhaust: No thanks.

Second-hand car exhaust contains many toxic chemicals that can harm an unborn baby.

 

[LockH]

Global Electric Bicycle Association ("GEBA", for short. Ed. Note: Is there such a thing yet? Why not? Maybe it might go Intergalactic? On our little moon at least, gasoline powered vehicles seem rather "sparse".) promotes driver learning/license testing for gasoline, diseasal etc-powered vehicles only on the worst weather daze of the year.

In related news. A consortium of interests (including the "health care industry" - hospitals, etc - car manufacturers, funeral services, etc, etc) protests the likely loss of jobs aka "business" from the GEBA proposal.