I have been trying to prepare myself for this... but yet, i'm a wreck....
My number one unconditional best friend in the world, Sandy, Samoyed and Retriever mix, born January 2001, arrived into my life at 8 weeks old, a surprise from my ex-gf who picked her up on a whim, after we had a long discussion about this not being a good idea ( renting at the time, i was firmly against getting a dog until i got my own house, to insure i would be able to care for it without fear of having to move into a no-pets situation.... ) .. but .. 2 seconds after picking up the little ball of white furr, i was in love..
Spent 12 years by her side, every single night, never once left her alone overnight, sleeping with her by my side, telling her she's a beautiful dog and giving her a hug and a kiss ritual. My bike riding buddy for about 8 years, learned to run next to me while i pedal, the only way to get her tired as walking, no matter how far, never did the trick... Sandy needed to RUN .. and run she did...
I"ve gone through some hard times in my life, to the brink of ending it, the only thing that got me thru these difficult years was Sandy, always by my side to comfort me and cheering me up with her sillyness, squeaky toys and that stinky rope she loved so much... no matter how depressed i was, or how sick i got, Sandy always knew how to cheer me up, tail wagging, bark bark, lots of long walks to clear my head......
Almost 2 years ago now ( nov 26 ) i was let go from my day job of 16 years, Sandy was so happy to see me come home early that monday morning, this gave me the opportunity to spend all day, every day with her, spoiling her rotten, walks, treats, hanging out.. what more could a dog and a man ask for.
Last few months she started having stomach problems, loosing weight, stopped eating dry kibble, gave her canned food for a while, until she stopped eating that, then went to boiled ground beef and rice with treats to keep her going, and that worked for a while...... but i knew it was nearing the end and i made the best of every day, knowing...
I prayed she would go quietly during the night, so that i would not have to bring her to the vet, she woke me up every night, sometimes multiple times to go outside and pee, i have not slept more than 4 hours in months, but i gladly did this for her, she a tough dog and no matter how much pain she was in, kept a strong face and did her best not to make a mess in the house, accidents happened regularly but i never scolded her for it because i could see she felt bad for having accidents.......
As the weeks passed, it got worse, last few days i've had to get up every 2 hours to let her out, and even then she still had accidents, legs shaking while trying to poop, grunting, and whimpered when laying down... it was so hard to watch her in pain and i knew i had to man up and do the right thing.. but i held off as long as i could... had the phone in my hand and dialed the Vet multiple times, hung up when i was unable to speak, choked up in tears....
Today, the weather was nice, i cried like a baby while i took a shower, trying my best to mentally prepare myself for the vet call once again, this time however i managed to say on the line and managed to make an appointment for 2pm .. it was 12:30 ......
I gave her a big long hug, told her i loved her, and apologized for what i had to do, she licked my tears and leaned in as if she knew what was going on... gave her a whole bag of milk bones and snaussauges, pulled the trike and trailer out of the garage and took her to the park for a long ride thru the woods, let her out to eat some grass, as much of it as she wanted to eat, walked thru the bushes all happy, making this all the more difficult, i cried the entire time avoiding pedestrians as best i could.... rode around until the last possible minute.
She hates the vet, HATES IT.... bringing her there to end her life was horrible, i made it clear on the phone i needed them to do this as quickly as possible and thank god they obliged, i held her in my arms all the way thru the process and hugged her while she faded away.............. i'll miss you Sandy... no dog will ever replace the place in my heart you called a home.............
My number one unconditional best friend in the world, Sandy, Samoyed and Retriever mix, born January 2001, arrived into my life at 8 weeks old, a surprise from my ex-gf who picked her up on a whim, after we had a long discussion about this not being a good idea ( renting at the time, i was firmly against getting a dog until i got my own house, to insure i would be able to care for it without fear of having to move into a no-pets situation.... ) .. but .. 2 seconds after picking up the little ball of white furr, i was in love..
Spent 12 years by her side, every single night, never once left her alone overnight, sleeping with her by my side, telling her she's a beautiful dog and giving her a hug and a kiss ritual. My bike riding buddy for about 8 years, learned to run next to me while i pedal, the only way to get her tired as walking, no matter how far, never did the trick... Sandy needed to RUN .. and run she did...
I"ve gone through some hard times in my life, to the brink of ending it, the only thing that got me thru these difficult years was Sandy, always by my side to comfort me and cheering me up with her sillyness, squeaky toys and that stinky rope she loved so much... no matter how depressed i was, or how sick i got, Sandy always knew how to cheer me up, tail wagging, bark bark, lots of long walks to clear my head......
Almost 2 years ago now ( nov 26 ) i was let go from my day job of 16 years, Sandy was so happy to see me come home early that monday morning, this gave me the opportunity to spend all day, every day with her, spoiling her rotten, walks, treats, hanging out.. what more could a dog and a man ask for.
Last few months she started having stomach problems, loosing weight, stopped eating dry kibble, gave her canned food for a while, until she stopped eating that, then went to boiled ground beef and rice with treats to keep her going, and that worked for a while...... but i knew it was nearing the end and i made the best of every day, knowing...
I prayed she would go quietly during the night, so that i would not have to bring her to the vet, she woke me up every night, sometimes multiple times to go outside and pee, i have not slept more than 4 hours in months, but i gladly did this for her, she a tough dog and no matter how much pain she was in, kept a strong face and did her best not to make a mess in the house, accidents happened regularly but i never scolded her for it because i could see she felt bad for having accidents.......
As the weeks passed, it got worse, last few days i've had to get up every 2 hours to let her out, and even then she still had accidents, legs shaking while trying to poop, grunting, and whimpered when laying down... it was so hard to watch her in pain and i knew i had to man up and do the right thing.. but i held off as long as i could... had the phone in my hand and dialed the Vet multiple times, hung up when i was unable to speak, choked up in tears....
Today, the weather was nice, i cried like a baby while i took a shower, trying my best to mentally prepare myself for the vet call once again, this time however i managed to say on the line and managed to make an appointment for 2pm .. it was 12:30 ......
I gave her a big long hug, told her i loved her, and apologized for what i had to do, she licked my tears and leaned in as if she knew what was going on... gave her a whole bag of milk bones and snaussauges, pulled the trike and trailer out of the garage and took her to the park for a long ride thru the woods, let her out to eat some grass, as much of it as she wanted to eat, walked thru the bushes all happy, making this all the more difficult, i cried the entire time avoiding pedestrians as best i could.... rode around until the last possible minute.
She hates the vet, HATES IT.... bringing her there to end her life was horrible, i made it clear on the phone i needed them to do this as quickly as possible and thank god they obliged, i held her in my arms all the way thru the process and hugged her while she faded away.............. i'll miss you Sandy... no dog will ever replace the place in my heart you called a home.............
